October 1, 2007

I Think "Myspace" Was Originally A Tool Used By The Romans In Attaching The Accused To Large Wooden Crosses...

I predict that Myspace will peak in 2008, and become virtually abandoned by the year 2012 (the Mayan Apocalypse). Actually, I would be flabbergasted if it even lasted that long. I must admit, I was a Myspace victim for a little under a year, until just recently, and never have I looked back and realized a bigger waste of my time and effort (and brain cells). Each login to Myspace is the equivalent of about thirty sniffs from a sash paint brush soaked in Killz. I look back and wonder...since when did I start calling thumbnail-sized pictures resembling people I know/once knew/want other people to think i know/well, i didn't friend them, they friended me/they look nice enough/this is a good band...friends?? The phone still exists, and text messages are pretty much identical to Myspace comments, and I have my phone with me all the time. I see no reason for any extra added steps involving the friendly day-to-day verbal exchange with my friends. It seems that Myspace is just a big ego-boosting ceremony for the majority of its members these days; a great way to allow others to view just how incredibly funny/talented/artistic/special you really are. What's really funny is that most of the time, the funny quotes and artistic pics and backgrounds are downloaded in insta-html from some dime-a-dozen Myspace outlet store from those with the actual talent (and time on their hands to waste) to begin with. So, in essence, the statements made by Myspace's members aren't really "look at how cool I am!", but more accurately, "look at how well this pre-fabricated, stereotypically artsy-fartsy background I found having desperately rummaged through all the tried-and-true Myspace graphics hotspots represents me!" Anyone with any real talent is expressing themselves privately, or on blogger (you knew the shameless, self-glorifying plug would interject itself sooner or later).

I guess my closing thought is this: If all of your Myspace friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump too? I honestly never thought that dusty old saying my parents constantly whipped out at me like a wallet-sized picture of Jesus nailed to the cross would ever make any real impact someday...
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