September 24, 2007

The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly (And Coffee)

I'm just sitting here, drinking Joya Del Dia and listening to Joe Maneria's "Paniots Nine", and I'm realizing that things are just not the same. There are very obvious reasons for this, but there are also some subtle, easily misunderstood reasons as well. I've been finding those hidden reasons lately, much to my dismay. Things are not the same because life is dynamic, even though it is also cyclical. What goes around comes around, and yet what comes around is a slightly skewed, used up, lifeless version of what went around to begin with. What I mean is that nothing is ever the same. Nothing is ever as powerful, or interesting, or meaningful the second time around. That perfect cup of coffee, even though I still try desperately to this day, will never allow itself to be replicated. You'll always end up with a coffee grind in your teeth, or a millileter less or more of water, or something to throw it off. This chaotic property has its upside as well. Since chaos introduces randomness into the equation of life, I have a fifty-fifty chance, for the sake of this argument, at having a more or lesser meaningful time the second time around. What if that horrible cup of coffee I've created in expectation of the recreation of the perfect cup leads me to buy a better coffeemaker, and one that makes far superior coffee each time to that one perfect cup prior? This is something I haven't forseen. Chaos induces change, which keeps life dynamic. If I could recreate that perfect cup of coffee every time without fail, life would be a static entity that surprises, and therefore, new experiences to rival my idea of perfection, would take no part in. Life is about pros and cons. You gain something if you lose something, and vice versa. I have to learn to understand this principle, and allow its effects to influence my life with at least a pinch of optimism. Things won't ever be the same, and that's only making room for the good, the bad, and the ugly still to come. It all depends, ultimately, on how badly you desire progress, I guess.
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