March 15, 2007


Well, after that game of inner tug-of-war with my best judgement, I am back on myspace. But ONLY because I wanted to.

March 14, 2007

To Myspace or Not To Myspace...

This is not my final resting place. This is not my home. However, I would rather be here than back on Myspace...seriously, what a waste of time and effort. I am not going to bash Myspace all day, but for me, it got real old real fast, and I began realizing that most of my so-called "friends" on my friends list barely spoke to me before or after (or since) my adding them to my friends list. Those are not real friends...those are tiny blips of light through fiber-optics and CAT-5 cables. However, Myspace did keep my true friends closer, as sending a message or commenting was among the easiest of day-to-day tasks to be completed. I am not saying I'll never return to Myspace, because I don't think I look good with my foot in my mouth, but I am saying this: for now, I'll stick to blogging, and let my real friends call me for coffee or lunch when they have something to say.

March 13, 2007

The Fiery Furnaces - "Bitter Tea"

It is 72° out, mid-march, approximately 21 hours past the hour I was born 25 years ago. All that to say I am happy, and ready to get up from in front of this computer screen. But before I do that, let me say this...The Fiery Furnaces are becoming a new favorite. I will warn anyone interested in listening (with no previous introduction to their music) right now - do not judge this album based on your first listen!! This is another one of those ease-your-way-in, "oh...i get it" kind of albums and groups. Upon first skeptical listen, you may very likely be annoyed with the cut-and-paste song structures consuming most of the tracks from start to finish, as well as the high-pitched, "Mom! My robot is taking over the city again!!" keyboard/clavichord/electrical cord combination of sounds that quite literally explode in and out of existence. Your eardrums will hate you at first, but you know what, if you are like me (e.g. one who appreciates artistic musical endeavor, stylized music, and walking as opposed to jogging), they'll get over it and get used to it, and probably like it, and then love it (possibly). It is all a matter of taste, honestly. I thoroughly enjoy the track "I'm In No Mood", with its tinker-toy piano and whimsically moody subject matter, "I'm in no mood to comb my hair, there's a chill in the air, and it's catching! catching!", as well as the sudden change of pace and mood as is The Fiery Furnace's signature in sound. Nothing classic here, but it definitely has originality and flare. A for originality (there is too an "A" in originality...).

March 7, 2007

7 Steps Past Unhappiness

I had another poem listed here, but forget it.
This is pressing. This is breaking news (maybe not). This will probably never reach its target audience, but ridiculous does life have to get before you change it around for the better, before you take control of your life instead of run when it kicks you in the side? I am sick and tired of all the sob stories, best-sellers or not. Get a grip, get a cup of coffee, and wake up. We don't aimlessly drift from friend to friend, lover to lover, situation to least that was never God's intention for us. We are mobile for a reason. We have lungs for a reason. We have reproductive organs for another reason. All of these have one commonality, at least: they involve and require action on our part. Life is the same way. If you live it actively, it will do its part in ensuring your success. You don't have to always wonder why you are so lonely and depressed and suicidal; you only have to wonder why you aren't acting against your loneliness.
It's simple (but respectfully, not easy):
1. Quit whining.
2. Quit crying.
3. Quit spending all your money on tissue boxes and ice cream.
4. Try running.
5. Write, listen to music, or paint.
6. Tell yourself you are not a pathetic waste.
7. Allow yourself to fully move past the troubles in your life.
Let's break it down a little further from there (and remember, I am not a conceded, condescending prick; I know most of this from experience in doing things the wrong way myself). 1. Quit whining - there is no need to let your emotions rule you just because you feel like they should. Everyone always thinks that wallowing in self-pity is the only way to get through hard times in their lives. The only thing you get from self-pity is more reason to kill yourself, because you are usually your worst enemy. Do not trust yourself (because why would you trust the very person that is holding you under?). 2. Quit crying - crying is sometimes a necessary outlet, but just like anything, there is and should be a limit. I am referring to those who allow their emotions to further fuel their dilemmas to the point of exhaustion or physical and emotional harm. 3. Quit spending money - Buying new clothes won't provide a lasting emotional high. Spending is the emotional equivalent of heroin. 4. Try running - physical activity that requires a certain degree of discipline and commitment is a healthy, positive reinforcement. Don't make it easy either - go for the harder to get to park or walking trail to ensure your full devotion to the activity. The main point is to change your ungrounded, undisciplined lifestyle. 5. Write, listen to music or paint - artistic, or creative, outlet is probably going to do you nothing but good here, even if you aren't an artist. You don't have to be Picasso - just "let it out" in some other form or medium (as we artists call it). 6. Tell yourself you are not a pathetic waste - by now you should be able to control the self-loathing urges, but take it a step further and introduce positive thought processes into your new mindset. Instead of just not thinking the bad things, replace them with good things, like "boy, I really see a change for the better in myself", or "man, I look good in these biker shorts", you get the idea. 7. Allow yourself to fully move past the troubles in your life - lastly, after you have your positive influences in place and have given them a while to become familiar and habitual, allow yourself to truly and fully give up on the troubles you experienced. This may sound strange, but I have learned through personal experience as a human mistake-maker that letting go is not something we do. We may get over something to the point where we don't think about it most of the time, but it's always there waiting for us when we need it. Don't let it stick around. This is the hardest step, and one that I am still not fully able to master as of yet. I am not necessarily saying we should forget the mistake entirely, because at some point the mistakes we make turn into lessons we learned from. I guess the solution here is to step past the hurt or sting we feel over something, and just commit it to memory as "this is how it felt when this happened, and I am not going to let it happen again".
Hopefully this wasn't too "magoo" to handle.

March 6, 2007

Roomy Fnords

You were a tragic tale
some petal torn too soon
to lay with who you were
while life passed by, and grew
like shadows under you.

Through heavy winds we blew
though change, she graced us not
with shoes we won't outgrow
and likewise prodded there
the part, divides our hair.

This present turmoil counts
the days from then to now
and yielding none to us
of joy, squeezed in its fist
like blood, drips from its lips.

I'll pave my road in time
and travel hard and fast
yet never o'er life's pace
in constants, though displaced
these lines, my aging face.

March 5, 2007

Life Stole All My Lunch Money

Life is definitely not always fun. The world is never an easy place to live in. Cliche, yet nonetheless true, no matter how many times it has been said, by how many people. Life is a rollercoaster of health, sickness, death, birth, rebirth, happiness, sadness, anger, resentment, confusion and anxiety, to name a few of the more popular day-to-day emotions and trials. I am tired, and my gut feels as if it were punched by Evander Holyfield after Mike Tyson bit his ear off. I am completely ready for spring, and yet it still evades us. I am ready for my 25th to come and go, but of course I have a week yet to ponder my age and what I didn't do with one more year of my life now in the rear-view mirror.
It isn't easy being me...but somebody's got to do it.
I deleted my Myspace profile, in hardly-related other news. Within the month, I will be getting myself set up on a hosted site with my own registered domain name and full flexibility to be creative with my layout. I am pretty darn pumped about that. Bring on the confusion. I only want to learn and grow from this point on, which means I am willing to sacrifice the frustration life may throw at me in any new endeavor for the end result, and the satisfaction and pride that will surely follow from completion of something I set my mind and heart to. Life's such a bully, and the only way to defeat it is to knock it back in its place when it tries to rough you up...and it probably won't ever be any different. Practice makes perfect.
I have tea to drink now.

March 3, 2007

Awaiting the Blindingly Beautiful in Life

When it comes down to it, do asthetics really make any difference? The answer is yes, and obviously no. If no completely, my time and life's work will have been wasted, and if completely yes, then the weight of our opinions are equal to the asthetic value we invest in them, and therefore, the most artistic of us will rule the way society as a whole thinks and operates. Artists are not gods. Neither are scientists. Keep this in mind.

March 2, 2007

The Adventurous and Highly Motivated Life of an IT Help Desk Coordinator

Fridays are good days. Today, I've got three computers to finish for Monday. That is a lot of pressure on one poor soul, that poor soul being yours truly. On top of that...old man winter decided to grace us with a fresh sheet of snow to brighten our Spring-anxious hearts...and now I am disappointed because I found the right web host, but don't have the moula at this juncture to proceed with setting up my domain name and site. What a sad day. =(

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